Miss Venezuela Wins Miss Universe, Heidi Montag "Performs"

Since the majority of you will not have seen this {semi-entertaining, yet truly awkward} "awards" show, here's a quick recap. I won't even bother explaining why I watched this competition, but to cut to the chase, I did. In a few words, the Miss Universe pageant is kind of a complete disaster. Overall, I felt like I was watching a pretty lame MTV Music Awards that had OD'd on Aquanet.

Some highlights included:

The multitalented Flo Rida doubles as a judge,

scoping out contestants on stage...mid-performance.

The Donald slyly steals air time & looks surprisingly smug.

Probably most intriguing was their choice for an opening number. Not sure how they came to Heidi Montag, but I'm thinking the recession played a driving force.

Luckily, I tuned in at just the right spot. Heids had just taken the stage with her entourage. I still haven't been able to come up with the right words to describe her performance. However, the whole thing left me feeling so uncomfortable. I apologize in advance for wasting two minutes of of your lives.

{you...just...have...to...watch...}

p.s. Since so many of you feel so strongly against H. Pratt, please feel free to use the comment space to vent your frustrations concerning the wrongs of reality tv & all things SPEIDI.

Peace.